Disconnect

Had I not been there myself I wouldn't have known
How sensation had flown
 from my heart,my soul
It's absence left a gaping hole.

I found myself unsurprised, desensitized, anesthetized
I saw myself unconcerned, undisturbed, unperturbed
I responded to a call to battle Atropos
She prevailed, I lost

I fought valiantly, my breath for hers my hands on her heart
I gained ground and gave the muscle a start.
The Lady of the Shears redoubled
And I could hear her whispers mumbled
     in my heart and mind
"You have failed, she is mine"

Breath faded, beating ceased
Pupils dilated, the ghost released
I watched as life drained away
But felt no loss, no dismay.

Of course it was my mind and engaged intellect
          that initiated my disconnect
I understood their tears, their loss, their pain
But within, the memory has caused no stain
I have no pain, no pangs, no sadness
But just a plain and echoing emptiness

Keats
December 16, 2010